


The Collar

by GraceRB



Series: The Profound Bond [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel is an adorable guy, Collars, Cuddling, Dean Winchester is trying to do the right thing, Dean is kinda feisty, Disillusionment, Dubious Consent, Fluffy, Freedom, Leashes, M/M, Minor Violence, Sad, Sex, Slavery, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, first person POV, hand holding, it's not a sex thing, nontraditonally sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 21:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceRB/pseuds/GraceRB
Summary: His eyes fell downcast, "I just -- if we leave the house, you have to wear it.""Oh," My eyes fell too. "I almost forgot."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: The Profound Bond [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2170305
Kudos: 22





	The Collar

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to prepare you for this reading experience. But I don’t want to spoil things so I'm not gonna try. Mainly it's just ... weird. Different, I guess? My friend described it as "a different kind of sad". 
> 
> This is in Castiel's first person perspective and I'm thinking I'll make one for Dean too. I hope you enjoy, and please comment your thoughts! I love to hear what you think. 
> 
> I wrote this one awhile ago when i was sort of in a bad headspace. I'm feeling better now, and there's just something special about this story -- I had to share. Please enjoy.

He had come here before. I'd seen him with his green eyes full of curiosity. He sat outside my cage, and whispered to me, reaching for my hand and holding it the entire time he was there. Now he was back, and he seemed sort of different. Maybe more sure of himself. 

"Hey, Cas," He said to me.

I didn't correct him -- he had given me the nickname, and I didn't hate it. I nodded in acknowledgement, and wasn't sure if I could reply. I kept my eyes downcast, out of respect, but really out of fear.

"I know I've been here several times," he reached for my hand, like he had done before, and it felt familiar. My heart started to beat a little faster. "I only bring that up because I've been thinking for awhile. Cas, would you like to come home with me?"

When I didn't reply immediately, he reached into the cage and lifted my chin. I looked at him -- stared, really -- for the first time. "Answer me," His tone became a little firmer. 

I darted my eyes away from his, and he tugged on my chin so I'd have to look at him again. His full lips pressed into a thin line, and I realized he was waiting. I nodded simply, and he frowned. " _ Answer _ me."

I flinched lightly. "Yes," It came out as a whisper and I looked back into his eyes, and he seemed content. He let go of my face and my hand, and withdrew his hands from the cage. He stood up and left my cage side, and I assumed he was leaving to buy me.

I kept my eyes on the ground when he returned a few minutes later, there was another man with him. He had a collar and a leash, and my new master -- I realized I didn't know his name -- was holding some clothes. The man with the collar walked over to my cage and unlocked the door. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out, then reached for my neck to put the collar on me.

"Don't be so rough!" My new master yelled, and pushed the man off of me. "Just let me do it."

He kept the man an arm's length away from me, and kept a hand protectively on my shoulder until the man walked away. I sat passively as he kneeled down next to me, unfolding a shirt and guiding it over my head. He helped me stand, and handed me a pair of jeans. I put them on, and he clasped the leash onto my collar. He held it loosely, and held my hand. "Come on, let's go."

"Okay," I whispered, and followed him out of the door, past all of the other cages with all of the other people -- no, they weren't people anymore.

He put me in the passenger seat of a car, and got in on the other side and turned the ignition. He took the leash off of me, and I gave him a confused glance. He looked at me sort of sadly, then brushed his fingers through my hair. "It's okay, you don't have to wear that with me."

I smiled faintly at him, and ran my fingers along the leash in my lap as he drove.

-

When the car stopped, it had been forty five minutes.

I looked out the window, and we were outside a small house surrounded by green rolling hills. He got out of the car first, and walked around to open my door for me. He took me by the hand, ignoring my attempt to reach out and hand the leash to him. It was confusing -- the rules had been beaten into me; always wear your collar, always wear your leash, listen to everything your master says, always let your master take the lead -- but he had the sweetest smile so I couldn't protest.

I clenched the leash in my hand and dropped it to my side. I let him hold my hand and we walked inside the small house. When he closed the front door, he brought me into the living room and sat me down. "Master," I said quietly.

I looked up at him when I heard no response. He looked very angry. When he spoke, he emphasized every word. " _ That is not my name."  _ Fear paralyzed me, but I couldn't break contact with his eyes to even try to run. He stomped over, straddled my lap, and clapped a hand over my mouth. "It's Dean. Say it,  _ now _ ." He moved his hand to my neck, but didn't squeeze.

"Dean," I choked out, my voice breaking only because of fear. I'd had other owners before, other masters, who would scream at me and beat me and choke me, leaving bruises and I couldn't even cry out because they told me not to. And if I did, they would hit me harder until I was silent.

I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes, but my master -- Dean pulled away immediately, letting go of my neck and moving to sit next to me instead of on me. I stifled my sigh of relief and he put his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cas," He used his other hand to cup my cheek and turn my face towards him. "I just -- we're people, and I want you to see me as a person, not your master -- or whatever." He glanced away.

I opened my mouth but closed it again. "I'm not... a person," I said quietly.

He looked back at me and I saw sadness. "Don't ever say that again."

"Okay, Dean."

And then, when he seemed satisfied by that answer, nodded and kept his hand on my face. And he kissed me gently. It was so sweet, and inviting, so I kissed him back.

No one -- none of my previous owners, I mean -- had ever kissed me so sweetly like that. I kept my hand on my lap and he pushed me gently into the couch cushions, so he was laying on top of me. He pulled away, and looked down at me with creased eyebrows. "Why don't you touch me?"

"You didn't say I could," I replied, keeping my hands by my sides on the couch.

He lifted off of me and sat back. "So you just have no --" He paused and shook his head sadly. "Does that mean you want me to tell you what to do all the time?"

"Well, you're my -- person --" I remembered he told me not to call him master. "I have to listen to what you say."

He huffed through a small smile. "Let's change that rule," He reached for my collar and started to unbuckle it. "You don't have to wear this with me."

"But I have to," I tried to protest, but I didn't try to stop him. He took the collar off and threw it unceremoniously to the floor. It stayed there.

"Cas, tell me," he said, bringing his hands back to the side of my face. "Are you only kissing me back because I'm your master and you feel like you have to?"

I thought for a second. In my old life I probably would have gone for him, he looks strong, with hard features and a firm body. And every time he came to see me, I felt sort of blissful for a while afterwards. As my first real choice in several years, I decided to tell him the truth and not what I thought he wanted to hear. "No," I hesitantly placed a hand on his chest as an emphasis.

His expression melted into one of relief and he kissed me again.

-

I had been living in Dean's house for three weeks.

He told me that his bed was mine, too, and he slept next to me every night, curling an arm over my chest and hugging me close to him. He had nightmares sometimes, but relaxed when I stroked his hands.

He kissed me sometimes, when there were quiet moments between us, and he didn't touch me indecently and didn't force himself on me either. He just kissed me soundly and when I moaned for the first time, he found it harder and harder to hold himself back. But he did. I tried not to be timid anymore, and we had a few conversations, and he lit up when I smiled at him.

And one night, when we were supposed to be asleep because it was very late, he hugged me very close to his chest with both arms. "Cas, are you awake?"

"Yes," I replied. "Should I not be?"

He didn't answer the question, and instead moved his head closer to my ear. "I have to tell you something," He said it against the back of my neck, and I could feel his lips brushing against my skin.

"Okay. I'm listening," I told him. I tried not to shiver under his breath.

"I used to wonder why I went to visit you all those times," He bowed his head, so his forehead was resting against the back of my neck. His voice was quiet but didn't waver. "I used to wonder why I spent six months saving up five thousand dollars so I could buy you from that horrible guy. But I'm not wondering anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm trying to tell you that I love you," He seemed almost frustrated, but his voice was still quiet. His arms tensed around me. "And I want you to be free from a life like this. So if that means you want to go -- if you want to go back to your old life and leave me -- I'm telling you it's okay."

I felt conflicted about this. I didn't really have much of a life to go back to, and Dean had showed me more kindness than anyone. And he loved me, he saved me from life in a cage. Maybe I wanted this. Wanted him. "And if I said I wanted to stay?"

His arms tensed and tightened even more around me. "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," I replied, and turned to face him. His arms pulled my body flush against his, and I put my hands on the sides of his face. "You've been very kind to me, Dean. And I'd say that even though you bought me, I think you did it for the right reasons. I'm glad it was you, and not someone else who would just use me."

He looked upset, but relaxed slightly. "I'm going to free you, I'll go get those papers and you can be yours again."

"Thank you, Dean," I hugged him, and turned him so he was on his back. I looked down at him, and initiated a kiss. He was slightly surprised, but didn't pull away. He was the one who usually kissed me first.

A few weeks of build up washed over me, and I kissed him a little more fervently than I originally thought I would. His hands slid under my shirt to press into my back, and I pressed my tongue into his mouth. Then one of his hands threaded into my hair, and he moved my body to lay between his legs.

His legs bent, and his thighs pressed against my sides. "Cas," He drew back briefly. "Do you want to do this with me?"

I nodded. "Yes, Dean." I put one hand on his stomach, lifting his shirt a little bit. "I want... I want you."

His breathing got a bit heavier, and his mouth opened like he had something to say, but instead he pulled me back down for a kiss.

There was no holding back anymore. He flipped us over so he was on top. He peeled off my clothes, and kissed down from my neck to my stomach. For the first time in years, someone took me into their mouth and sucked me for me alone.

Dean's face was buried in my lap and it felt so good I couldn't even moan, just breathe heavily and lean my head back and let him. Then he pulled off and wiped his mouth before kissing me again. I touched him, too, reaching a hand between his legs and shifting us again so I was leaning down to him.

He spread his legs around me, and I lifted his waist up so I was lined up. "Is this okay?" He nodded, and then he was moaning and blindly reaching up to kiss me again.

After, when he was hugging me from behind, he had another nightmare. I squeezed his arm gently, and he talked in his sleep. "No, Cas," He growled it and pulled me closer to him. "Stay, please."

I squeezed his arm again. "I'm here, Dean," I said. "I'm right here."

I reached back to touch his face and his eyes fluttered open. "Oh, Cas," He sighed. He hugged me closer still, and our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. "Oh, I thought you left. Please don't."

"I'm here," I repeated. He kissed me and went back to sleep.

-

In the morning, Dean held me close for several hours.

"I'll make you breakfast before we go," He spoke against the skin on the back of my neck, and when he decided to get up he went slowly.

I sat up and watched him pull on his clothes. "You're stalling, aren't you?"

His eyes fell downcast, "I just -- if we leave the house, you have to wear it."

"Oh," My eyes fell too. "I almost forgot."

"Come down when you're dressed." He left the room and went downstairs.

I touched my neck with my fingers. It had been bare the past few weeks, because that was what Dean wanted. But when he took me anywhere that wasn't in the immediate vicinity of the house, the law required that he put my collar and leash back on. He hated having to put it on me.

So we didn't go out much.

He kept the collar and the leash by the front door, and after I got dressed I walked straight there. He was tying his shoes when he looked up at me with a solemn expression. "Are you ready?"

I shook my head. "No," I sighed, and stepped closer. "But I don't have a choice. Not until you sign those papers."

He stood with a huff of reluctance. He put the collar around my neck and started to buckle it. "I'm sorry," He said.

"It's -- it's okay," I replied. He clipped on the leash and put the looped handle around his wrist. I took his hand, and made a small smile. "Let's just get this over with, okay?"

We left the house and got in his car. He didn't let go of my hand until we got to City Hall. He parked and kissed me one more time. "I know you know the rules," He rubbed my hand reassuringly, but I was convinced it was more for himself than me. "But you can't hold my hand in there, and I have to lead you by the leash."

"I understand," I nodded. I looked out the windows and didn't see anyone watching us, so I leaned towards him and kissed him again. "Let's go, okay?"

"Okay."

He led me inside, by the leash, and I followed behind him. We walked into the small claims court and filled out Emancipation Papers. I signed first, then gave the pen to Dean. My hands were shaking slightly, and I saw him start to reach for them before changing his mind and putting his hand in his pocket.

He signed the papers, then we went through lines and lines to get approvals and stamps. We stood in front of a judge and he approved our request. When we walked down the steps, hand in hand with no leash and no collar, I was a free man once again.

We got into Dean's car and he took me to a restaurant for the first time. And we ate together like everything was normal. And then it was.

We went back home and Dean dug a fire pit in the backyard. He threw in my collar, my leash, and the papers from when he bought me. He put in a few logs, and gas. He handed me a matchbook. "You want to do the honors?"

I took the matches. "Hell yes," I lit one and threw it into the pit.

We sat and watched as everything burned. When it was all ash, he put an arm around my shoulders and wiped my eyes. I didn't even know I was crying. I looked over at him, and held his face. "It's gonna be okay, Cas."

I looked into his eyes. "I know," As long as he was here, I knew it would be true. I looked at the ashes one more time and felt an urge to bury them. I looked back at Dean. "I know."

He gave me a hopeful smile and kissed me again. I melted into his arms and felt happy for the first time in years.


End file.
